2017 wrap-up... Live, Laugh, Love

2017 had me spinning… up, down, sideways, round and round… it was such a positive year in many ways with seeing my youngest daughter graduate with honors, get into the university of her choice with a kick-ass financial package and tons of scholarships.  My oldest daughter excelled in her college program with classroom teachers putting trust in her they usually reserve for higher-level students and grad programs now courting her, hoping she’ll choose them.  My husband started a job with a boss who values him and recognizes that he has a family.  And I got to travel-to amazing places and have experiences that I had never dreamed I’d have (hello kissing a sting ray and swimming in a bioluminescent bay).  I enjoyed time with family and friends talking, running, cooking, exploring, snorkeling, hiking, decorating, lifting, celebrating eating, and drinking.  I spent time with family I hadn’t spent time with in a while, reconnected with old friends and made new ones.  I had great sadness and joy, often times mixed together. I got lost in loneliness, sometimes more than I’d admit to others, but gradually found my way out.  I enjoyed music and laughter and way too many hours of Netfix, Showtime, Starz and HBO series snuggled up on the couch with my pup.  I was fit and healthy, fell off the wagon, then gently hoisted myself back on it again.  But above all, I loved.  I loved deeply and with all of me.

2018 will bring more joy, perhaps with a tiny touch of sadness sprinkled in for balance.  It will bring a healthier life-physically, mentally, spiritually. It will bring physical challenges of at least one half-marathon, maybe more.  It will bring more travel, more music, more laughter and love.  More time with family.  More time with friends.  I’ll do a little more Netflix, Showtime, Starz, HBO binge watching snuggled up with Zoe on our comfy couch.  I’ll have opportunities to see my daughters thrive as they continue to navigate adulthood.  I’ll treasure the time spent with each of them.   I’ll cherish time with my guy enjoying good food, music, laughter, bad jokes, holding hands…

I’ll live.  I’ll laugh.  I’ll love.  

Perspective

Every other Tuesday a meditation group meets at work. I try to go when I'm around and am always so thankful after I do. Yesterday's group included a woman who was frazzled-everything she talked about was a big deal, a challenge, a hassle. Her energy changed the energy of the room to the point where we had a conversation about the notion of the energy you put out is the energy you get back and how to change your perspective from negative to positive. Chronic complainers seem to have many reasons to complain. Those who practice gratitude tend to have many reasons to be grateful. 

So this morning as I was driving my daily commute I put that practice into play; I appreciated the early, easy drive where I could witness the beauty of the morning's sunrise. The pinks and purples turned to gold. 

The day was a fast-paced one with many priorities, and when I left for the day I immediately became annoyed with the stop and go traffic of 787 merges and a slight fender-bender. Aggressive drivers frustrated me, and no wave from the guy I let go ahead of me seemed rude. Then I saw an eagle. And the beauty and rarity of seeing that eagle changed my perspective, my attitude. I felt grateful.

How have you infused more positivity, more gratitude in your life? What's one way you have changed your perspective so that life is a little happier, peaceful, easy?

Empty Nesting

This past August I dropped my baby girl off at college.  The months leading up to it were hard, but the time following was worse.  I had days I didn't get out of bed.  I let food be my comfort.  I stopped working out.  I fell into a mild depression.

It's such a bittersweet happening... you have pride and excitement in your child going to college, but it's such a weird loss.  The house is much quieter, the rooms are empty, dinner is only for two.

Good meaning people say things like "well now you have time to do for you," "now you can find out who you are besides being a mom."  Really?  Finding out who I am is a lifelong event, not something that will suddenly occur because my children no longer live at home full time.  I take pride in being a mom.  It's been the most valuable role I've ever had, and the hardest.  But I also am a strong woman.  A wife.  A friend.  A daughter. A sister.  An employee.  And yet I've been struggling to grasp all of my other roles again.

But I can feel it all changing.  I feel lighter as the darkness fades away.

New Beginnings

I wasn't prepared.  I had heard having your child go to college was difficult, and I remember a friend having a really tough time emotionally, but I didn't really get it.

My oldest daughter started her freshman year of college in late August.  The various "lasts" for her throughout her senior year would get me feeling a little weepy... plus prom and graduation... but I had no idea of the emotional rollercoaster I would experience during the time leading up to her leaving and once she left.

It's a loss.  It's truly a loss when your child goes to college.  It's a wonderful, positive happening, and I've always been so proud, but there's a sense of loss.

Closing this post out two years later.  My youngest just started her freshman year in college, and it's been a tough adjustment.  I'll post soon...

Back in October of 2014 I started taking tamoxifen to reduce my risk of breast cancer. Among the side effects listed, I have to admit that the potential for weight gain was one that scared the hell out of me. Gaining weight seems to get easier with each year, while maintaining or losing weight is so much more of a challenge. I've been determined to not let tamoxifen win. And so far, it hasn't.
I've kept running over the past year, have created a little gym in my home, andhave incorporated various Beachbody programs into my routine (21 Day Fix, PiYo, and 21 Day Fix Extreme). And since August of this year, I've been working out 5-6 days a week and feel healthy, fit, and strong. I've been a part of challenge groups with my sisters Erin & Paige where I've met wonderful people from across the country who've been supportive and encouraging. I love that I can erase the stresses of my day by popping in a DVD and exercising for 30 minutes. I love having eating plans that help me take care of me. I love having Beachbody on Demand so I can do my workouts when I travel. I do this for me. For my husband. For my daughters. I do this because I'm not going to let tamoxifen win. I do this because I believe life is too damn precious and short. And I'm sharing this because life is too damn precious and short. I'm always here for any questions you may have, just message me. Give yourself a gift for the holidays. Take care of you-for your loved ones, for yourself. Life is too damn precious and short not to. xo

The heatwave finally broke, and the rainy, cool air made me crave a good, healthy soup my husband created.  Yum!

Chicken sausage, white bean & spinach soup
4 cups of unsalted organic chicken broth
1 can diced tomatoes (low or no salt)
2 pkgs all natural flavored chicken sausage (I usually go with a spinach or roasted red pepper type), cut into bite-sized pieces
1 med onion, diced
1 pkg baby spinach
1 can white beans, drained & rinsed
2 tsp. Italian seasoning 

Sauté onion & sausage in pot to soften the onions and lightly brown the sausage. Add the broth, tomatoes, beans, Italian seasoning and pepper on med/high heat until it comes to a gentle boil. Turn heat to med/low and let simmer for 20+ minutes. Add spinach about 5 minutes before serving.
Optional-Top with a pinch of shredded parm cheese. 

Makes approximately six 2-cup servings.
Recipe by Christy & Shane 😊

Begin, Egan is about my journey that started when I was close to turning 40.  Like many others, I joined Facebook in my late 30's and began reconnecting with family and those from my past.   My initial account had my married name at the time.  About 2-3 months in, I added my maiden name, and that's when a flood of people from my past came back into my life.  One of whom was a man named Shane Egan. Shane & I dated when we were 15 years old.  For like a month.  Maybe two.  And then-as romances at 15 often go-he broke up with me.  To go back out with another girl.  I was hurt. They broke up.  He wanted me back.  I said no.  Until 25 years later.

I was at the end of my first marriage when Shane came back into my life.  I felt an immediate draw toward him that I'd never felt for any other.  And the trust-trust is a biggie for me-the trust was immediate.  He didn't judge me.  He didn't shame me.  He let me be me.  He encouraged me to be me.  And I fell in love.  Deeply, hopelessly in love.

And that's where Begin, Egan starts.  Falling in love.  Finding trust and honesty.  Being me.