Empty Nesting

This past August I dropped my baby girl off at college.  The months leading up to it were hard, but the time following was worse.  I had days I didn't get out of bed.  I let food be my comfort.  I stopped working out.  I fell into a mild depression.

It's such a bittersweet happening... you have pride and excitement in your child going to college, but it's such a weird loss.  The house is much quieter, the rooms are empty, dinner is only for two.

Good meaning people say things like "well now you have time to do for you," "now you can find out who you are besides being a mom."  Really?  Finding out who I am is a lifelong event, not something that will suddenly occur because my children no longer live at home full time.  I take pride in being a mom.  It's been the most valuable role I've ever had, and the hardest.  But I also am a strong woman.  A wife.  A friend.  A daughter. A sister.  An employee.  And yet I've been struggling to grasp all of my other roles again.

But I can feel it all changing.  I feel lighter as the darkness fades away.

New Beginnings

I wasn't prepared.  I had heard having your child go to college was difficult, and I remember a friend having a really tough time emotionally, but I didn't really get it.

My oldest daughter started her freshman year of college in late August.  The various "lasts" for her throughout her senior year would get me feeling a little weepy... plus prom and graduation... but I had no idea of the emotional rollercoaster I would experience during the time leading up to her leaving and once she left.

It's a loss.  It's truly a loss when your child goes to college.  It's a wonderful, positive happening, and I've always been so proud, but there's a sense of loss.

Closing this post out two years later.  My youngest just started her freshman year in college, and it's been a tough adjustment.  I'll post soon...