2017 wrap-up... Live, Laugh, Love

2017 had me spinning… up, down, sideways, round and round… it was such a positive year in many ways with seeing my youngest daughter graduate with honors, get into the university of her choice with a kick-ass financial package and tons of scholarships.  My oldest daughter excelled in her college program with classroom teachers putting trust in her they usually reserve for higher-level students and grad programs now courting her, hoping she’ll choose them.  My husband started a job with a boss who values him and recognizes that he has a family.  And I got to travel-to amazing places and have experiences that I had never dreamed I’d have (hello kissing a sting ray and swimming in a bioluminescent bay).  I enjoyed time with family and friends talking, running, cooking, exploring, snorkeling, hiking, decorating, lifting, celebrating eating, and drinking.  I spent time with family I hadn’t spent time with in a while, reconnected with old friends and made new ones.  I had great sadness and joy, often times mixed together. I got lost in loneliness, sometimes more than I’d admit to others, but gradually found my way out.  I enjoyed music and laughter and way too many hours of Netfix, Showtime, Starz and HBO series snuggled up on the couch with my pup.  I was fit and healthy, fell off the wagon, then gently hoisted myself back on it again.  But above all, I loved.  I loved deeply and with all of me.

2018 will bring more joy, perhaps with a tiny touch of sadness sprinkled in for balance.  It will bring a healthier life-physically, mentally, spiritually. It will bring physical challenges of at least one half-marathon, maybe more.  It will bring more travel, more music, more laughter and love.  More time with family.  More time with friends.  I’ll do a little more Netflix, Showtime, Starz, HBO binge watching snuggled up with Zoe on our comfy couch.  I’ll have opportunities to see my daughters thrive as they continue to navigate adulthood.  I’ll treasure the time spent with each of them.   I’ll cherish time with my guy enjoying good food, music, laughter, bad jokes, holding hands…

I’ll live.  I’ll laugh.  I’ll love.  

Perspective

Every other Tuesday a meditation group meets at work. I try to go when I'm around and am always so thankful after I do. Yesterday's group included a woman who was frazzled-everything she talked about was a big deal, a challenge, a hassle. Her energy changed the energy of the room to the point where we had a conversation about the notion of the energy you put out is the energy you get back and how to change your perspective from negative to positive. Chronic complainers seem to have many reasons to complain. Those who practice gratitude tend to have many reasons to be grateful. 

So this morning as I was driving my daily commute I put that practice into play; I appreciated the early, easy drive where I could witness the beauty of the morning's sunrise. The pinks and purples turned to gold. 

The day was a fast-paced one with many priorities, and when I left for the day I immediately became annoyed with the stop and go traffic of 787 merges and a slight fender-bender. Aggressive drivers frustrated me, and no wave from the guy I let go ahead of me seemed rude. Then I saw an eagle. And the beauty and rarity of seeing that eagle changed my perspective, my attitude. I felt grateful.

How have you infused more positivity, more gratitude in your life? What's one way you have changed your perspective so that life is a little happier, peaceful, easy?

Empty Nesting

This past August I dropped my baby girl off at college.  The months leading up to it were hard, but the time following was worse.  I had days I didn't get out of bed.  I let food be my comfort.  I stopped working out.  I fell into a mild depression.

It's such a bittersweet happening... you have pride and excitement in your child going to college, but it's such a weird loss.  The house is much quieter, the rooms are empty, dinner is only for two.

Good meaning people say things like "well now you have time to do for you," "now you can find out who you are besides being a mom."  Really?  Finding out who I am is a lifelong event, not something that will suddenly occur because my children no longer live at home full time.  I take pride in being a mom.  It's been the most valuable role I've ever had, and the hardest.  But I also am a strong woman.  A wife.  A friend.  A daughter. A sister.  An employee.  And yet I've been struggling to grasp all of my other roles again.

But I can feel it all changing.  I feel lighter as the darkness fades away.

New Beginnings

I wasn't prepared.  I had heard having your child go to college was difficult, and I remember a friend having a really tough time emotionally, but I didn't really get it.

My oldest daughter started her freshman year of college in late August.  The various "lasts" for her throughout her senior year would get me feeling a little weepy... plus prom and graduation... but I had no idea of the emotional rollercoaster I would experience during the time leading up to her leaving and once she left.

It's a loss.  It's truly a loss when your child goes to college.  It's a wonderful, positive happening, and I've always been so proud, but there's a sense of loss.

Closing this post out two years later.  My youngest just started her freshman year in college, and it's been a tough adjustment.  I'll post soon...